Recently we had Whitley Bell of Becoming The Boespflugs in one of our Seas The Day Flowy Tees. We think the messaging of that shirt is so fitting for her and the military wife life that she leads. In her post, The Life of a Military Wife, she shares some important insight that we could probably all take away from, especially all of those Milsos out there and their families...
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1} First and foremost, you have to accept the fact that you will not come first. The commitment your significant other has made to his country is far bigger than what we can always understand. I can’t even count the number of dinners that have been interrupted by a phone call that ends in him having to get up and leave in the middle of our meal. Most weekends, birthdays and anniversaries are spent apart. My husband and I have only spent one birthday together in the last four years, {and don’t even get me started on anniversaries.} What I have learned to do in these situations is to not become angry with him. It is not in his control, and it is not his fault. Duty will always come first. {Dear Lord, give me the greatness of heart to see the difference between duty and his love for me. Give me understanding that I may know, when duty calls him he must go. Give me a task to do each day, to fill the time when he’s away. And Lord, when he’s in a foreign land, keep him safe in your loving hand. And Lord, when deployment is so long, please stay with me and keep me strong. Amen.}
2} Stay strong, but it’s okay to cry. I can honestly say that I had no idea how strong I was until my husband’s first deployment. Accepting the fact that I could become a widow at the age of twenty-two is something that I struggle with daily. As much as I trust God to keep him safe, the worry never really goes away. Draw near to God and He will show you strength you never even knew you had. He will show you peace you didn’t even think was possible. Take it day by day and prayer by prayer. You can and will get through it.
3} This lifestyle is HARD. It is something that no one can understand until they are living it. The day to day struggles can begin to take a toll on your heart, they definitely do mine from time to time. As strong as I may be, I still have my days where I wish we could just be “normal”. Wouldn’t it be nice to see your husband every day? People who aren’t in our situation tend to take that for granted. I’ve learned to make the most of every moment we have together. Lord knows those moments are rare, but they are so so special. Find a good support system. Lean on friends and family, and lean on God. I am so blessed that I have friends and family by my side to keep me going on the days when I feel like I can’t. And one dear friend, a fellow Military Wife {you know who you are} who has been such a rock in my life. We were brought together by this lifestyle, and I’m positive it is because God knew we would need eachother. There is so much comfort in knowing there is someone who knows EXACTLY how I feel and I know will always be there. I don’t know what I would do without you!
4} The goodbyes are always the hardest part, but adjusting to life without your partner can take a close second. Going to bed alone, grocery shopping for one, and taking on the load of every day life {and for some, raising your kids alone -- my heart goes out to all you mamas doing it alone day by day. You got this.} The simplest of things can break your heart. I can get into a groove of every day life, a new schedule, and lots to keep me busy, but then just one phone call from him reminds me that he’s not here, and I lose it. Pushing yourself through these moments is something you will learn to do over time. It does get easier, and you will learn to be happy on your own.
5} This one ties into number 4, but it is very important to learn how to be happy alone. I know as well as the rest of you, that it really stinks to have to be away from your loved one. But I also know, that the healthiest thing you can do for yourself and your significant other is be happy. Take this time apart to get to know yourself better. Take up a new hobby, read books, watch all the chick-flicks your husband always complains about {but secretly loves} to watch. Spending time alone with yourself can be hard, but I see so much growth in myself when I do this. Doing this and reflecting on myself helps me to become a better person and a better wife. So, when the time finally comes and my husband is home, I can give him everything I have.
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You can read the full post and view Whitley's photos HERE.
